Howdy folks! It’s your friendly neighborhood deadbeat who has been resurrected from a summer/fall filled with work, school (both teaching and attending), a house sale and purchase, and a bunch of other awful adult stuff. And just in time for the holiday season, too. I remember when I thought that being an adult meant sundaes for dinner and playing video games all day. Yeah no.
Anyway, it’s that time of the year again when you hear the same five Christmas songs on repeat constantly. They’re even playing Christmas music at the gym which makes all of my workouts that much more soul crushing. Ever try to run to “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” by Pentatonix? No? I do not recommend.
Because you will inevitably have to pretend that you actually are somewhat human over the next few weeks, here are some songs you can play that will not only lift your mood, but also cause your friends and relatives to believe that maybe you do indeed have a soul. Here are ten songs (in no particular order) to get you in the spirit!
10 Awesome Holiday Songs Because I Said So
10. Fat Daddy, “Fat Daddy (Is Santa Claus)” from A John Waters Christmas. Listen, this is actually a great Christmas song. You have church bells, jingle bells, and a man singing about how he’s the reindeer boss. You can’t go wrong.
9. Star Wars, “Christmas in the Stars” from the album of the same name. It’s super cute and nerdy with C3PO and R2D2 “singing” most of the songs. We know the special was a dumpster fire but this album is sweet and will make you smile.
8. The Kinks, “Father Christmas.” Nothing gets me quite in the mood like hearing about a bunch of kids beating up a mall Santa. This song from 1978 still rings true as true today as it did back then.
7. Fat Les, “Naughty Christmas (Goblin in the Office).” Yes, don’t drink too much at your office Christmas lest you end up being called a goblin by your coworkers. Weird song but catchy.
6. Akim and the Teddy Vann Production Company, “Santa Claus Is a Black Man” is another gem from A John Waters Christmas. Love this twist on the “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” classic.
5. Run DMC, “Christmas in Hollis.” Yeah, I know you know this one, but if you’re making a fun holiday playlist, this is a must have on your list. One of the most original Christmas songs ever.
4. New Kids on the Block, “Funky, Funky Xmas.” This song is 80s boy band goodness and is actually pretty funky. Lots of fun. If your friends make fun of you for playing this, then they aren’t your friends.
3. DMX, “Rudolph the RedNose Reindeer.” This song is one minute and thirty-six seconds of pure heaven. I’m obsessed.
2. William Shatner, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel,” from Shatner Claus. Listen, I die with laughter at every Shatner song. This one is almost as good as his rendition of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” which is amazing. No LSD needed, just sit back and enjoy.
1. Bob Dylan, “Must be Santa.” This is an all-time, sentimental favorite of mine. It’s super catchy, very fun, and is the epitome of what makes a holiday song awesome.
So there you have it folks. You can now pretend you actually enjoy the holidays while you entertain your family and friends.