For Joe Mazzulla, Even Bonding is a Battle

Joe Mazzulla has no chill.

That’s not an insult by the way.

If you’ve followed the Celtics even a little bit these past few seasons you’ve witnessed several examples of Mazzulla’s trademark intensity and insatiable competitive drive. It’s what makes him one of the best coaches in the NBA and one of the reasons Banner number 18 hangs from the rafters at TD Garden.

Whether it’s getting all over a ref in a meaningless preseason game.

Or using a coaches challenge up 30 late in the 4th quarter.

Or trying to block an opposing player’s 3 point attempt after the whistle.

Or berating reporters who ask questions he doesn’t feel like answering.

Every interaction is viewed as combat. Kill or be killed.

That mentality crossed over into a “friendly” scrimmage versus the media earlier this week at the Auerbach Center in Boston.

The concept was great (even if hijacked and altered by Mazzulla at the last minute.) A chance for media members to play alongside Celtics coaches – led by the Celtics head coach and a collection of assistants with past NBA and D-1 college experience.

Fun!

The execution? Not so much.

What ensued was a – to be expected – 57-4 bludgeoning. 

When news of the score trickled out social media enjoyed a good collective belly laugh about it.

But then details of the game started to emerge.

The 57 points were scored in only 12 minutes.

There was a shot clock.

And, an 8 second count to cross half court.

And, the group of former NBA and D-1 players – at Joe Mazzulla’s frantic urging – pressed and trapped the hapless and hopeless scribes full court the entire game. First person accounts estimate that the media team only crossed half court 4 or 5 times.

And, the ref assigned to the game swallowed his whistle despite some exceedingly physical play on the part of the coaches.

Oh, and the journos got punked in the presence of Celtics stars Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum and team President Brad Stevens who chuckled from the balcony as the media team got rolled.

Are we having fun yet?

After Mazzulla and co dismantled the media things mellowed out. The coaches and journalists spent a few moments palling around and then the media took part in the game they expected to play in versus one another. A much more competitive 27-23 affair.

By all accounts the reporters who played almost unanimously seem to have enjoyed the entire experience, beatdown included. Even though this isn’t what they initially signed up for.

This was more akin to being invited to a barbecue and being told when you arrive, ‘We’re going to eat later, but first, we’re going to hunt you. We’ll give you a 30 second head start. Go.”

 

Participants actually enjoyed it so much several scribes wrote glowing pieces about it afterwards, and have publicly declared that they look forward to the next opportunity to take on Joe and his coaches, vowing to do better next time.

Thank you sir, may I have another?

Mazzulla for his part, promised that he intends to stage another game like this during his first public appearance the following day. A scheduled interview with broadcast partner 98.5 the Sports Hub with “Zo and Beatle.”

The Celtics coach was however somewhat surprised that the hosts didn’t share his enthusiasm for the public flogging the press received as Marc Bertrand and Scott Zolak chided Joe about his decision to humiliate the media or as Zolak – a former professional football player – said “put them in their place.”

“(It’s) kind of the world we live in today,” Mazzulla responded. “Where one tweet doesn’t tell the whole story, or you missed the context of what the point of something like that is. The intention of it wasn’t to get out, but that’s kind of the world we live in.

It’s unfortunate that people don’t get the whole context of the day but we all got to be in a competitive environment together.”

No Joe. 

This was NOT a “competitive environment” any more than the African Savana is a competitive environment for a Zebra. Nor was it a “level playing field” as Mazzulla also suggested.

Bertrand then followed by asking the Celtics 3rd year coach the only question that really matters.

Why?

Why was the beating necessary to achieve the desired goal? To which Mazzulla – channeling his inner Hanz and Franz – quipped that maybe Bertrand doesn’t have “any competitive juices” flowing through him.

‘Don’t call me a bully you wuss!’

Or, maybe you’re just a little Girly Man.

“Well I could go down to the playground and beat a bunch of 4 year olds,” Bertrand clapped back. “If that’s what gets you going Joe.”

Honestly, a grown adult vs 4 year olds would probably have been more competitive than this.

Mazzulla continued to stress the bonding aspect of the exercise during his media availability the following day, spending more time on what happened after the beating than the impetus for it, which still remains unclear.

“Yesterday was very, very important,” Mazzulla said Wednesday before hosting the Toronto Raptors in a preseason game. “It will be laughed at and joked about, but it means a lot more to humanize (the coaches and media.) We have too many interactions where it’s the coach and you. Like, everyone’s doing their job.”

I mean yeah, that’s kind of how it goes.

“I felt like after yesterday we all had our guard down, “Mazzulla continued.” And we were all in the competitive arena together. And that meant a lot to lower everyone’s guard and bust balls and do all that stuff. So, it was cool to see everybody in a natural environment. And, sometimes, we’re coming from a competitive arena, and you’re not in a competitive arena — you’re just doing your job. And that’s where things get misinterpreted. But for all of us to be in the same arena, I think that says a lot.”

How exactly does 57-4 humanize the media? They were human before Joe, whether you realized it or not.

Also, please tell me how does the media get to “bust balls” back after the beating they took?

‘Hey Joe, remember that time where you trapped me with the shot clock winding down to zero, I pooped my pants, dribbled the ball off my knee and crashed to the ground in a heap trying to grab the ball before it rolled out of bounds?’

Boom Roasted!

Newsflash. Sports media and the people they cover are never on a level playing field. Not off the court and certainly not ON it.

Even the smartest, most knowledgeable writers on the beat bring a middle school level understanding of basketball to each Q & A session relative to the multiple PHD’s Mazzulla, his assistants, and the players possess. Same goes in other sports as well, Taylor Kyles notwithstanding.

These guys are on a different level, and we already know it.

The power dynamics in each media session are heavily tilted in Mazzulla’s favor. Perhaps even more so now. You shouldn’t need to humiliate people in an effort to humanize them. That humanity should already exist through a mutual understanding and respect that each person is here trying to do a job.

While I understand that the relationship between sports media and the people they cover can sometimes come off as adversarial, the reality is the majority of Celtics coverage is overwhelmingly positive and supportive.

I’ve made no secret in the past that I think Joe Mazzulla can be somewhat of a bully. Not the first coach in these parts to play that role either.

His tense exchanges with the media linger with some reporters long after they walk out of the press room. And before they return, they ruminate over how to approach the next interview without asking the type of question that will draw Joe’s ire and get them posterized or worse, they don’t ask those questions at all.

Maybe now that Joe has “humanized” the reporters who cover him on a daily basis he’ll mellow out and the back and forth between the two sides will be less combative.

Or perhaps Mazzulla did this to soften them up in the hopes that they won’t come at him as hard in the future. If so, well played.

Full disclosure. I had emailed the Celtics about my intention to play in this game when it was just media vs media. I wasn’t entirely sure whether I was going to go through with it more having to do with general laziness and the fact that I haven’t run full court in years. When I caught wind that the coaches were going to play I was glad to have sat it out. NBC Sports Boston play by play announcer Drew Carter said on the game broadcast Wednesday night he did the same thing, claiming he didn’t “want to get blown out or choked out.”

Call me a coward, but I didn’t feel like being the butt of a joke. And that’s before I knew Mazzulla was going to go full Psycho Joe on the brave souls who went through with it anyway. Though knowing what we know about Joe, I guess there was really no other way.

Was it textbook bullying by Mazzulla? I’m not sure. Even if it was bullying behavior it may not have been the intent. Just Joe being Joe.

I liken it more to fraternity hazing. Or breaking a horse.

Was there however a better way to bond and get on the “same level” as the people who cover the team which didn’t involve physical domination and public humiliation?

Absolutely. So, so, so so, SO many better ways.

Have the coaches play alongside the media to make the sides more even. How about bowling or mini golf, or axe throwing. You know, something where you can still compete but are actually on a level playing field and/or doing it together.

That’s something that Tuesday’s game did not accomplish. The two sides didn’t do anything together.

When given the opportunity to create a true bonding experience, Joe Mazzulla chose violence.

It was us vs you. And it was ugly.

Mazzulla said the other day, “The only thing that would have made it better is if we all went out for a beer afterwards.”

A beer with Joe Mazzulla? Sure, I’d be down with that. Just replace the word “afterwards” with “instead.”

Is there a Red Lobster nearby? My Treat!